The 401K distribution money is yours to keep. If the amount is smaller then $3000, you can file a suit small claim court in your county. It is very simple and you do not need a lawyer. if it is a larger amount, you might get legal help and take your to court.

Stop payment on the check, through your 401k . Get them to re-issue you a new check sent to your home address, or post office, or better yet certified mail. that way you get and have to sign for it.

Get an attorney or at least some advice. In this case, she is clearly stealing from you. 401k money is yours, not your employers. Some employers contribute by matching, but it is still yours by law. You need to have a letter from your attorney sent directly to your former employer to release the funds to your immediately.

Sounds like a bunch of crap. I would stop payment, get another check coming and meanwhile find an attorney.

File a claim with The U.S. Department of Labor. ERISA Act of 1974. What she is doing is a federal offense.