It depends on if you earned the balance in your 401k before you were married and what state you lived in.

Like all marital assets, it may be that you'll have to give your spouse their share of the balance, of course, you'll also be able to get a portion of your spouse's retirement account as, well.

Oh, this is a tricky question. Many state are community property states, in which the money will be divided equally between you. However, you may be able to prove that you had the money, or at least part of the money, before you were married. If you can, then you MAY be able to take that portion of the money even in a community property state. Arizona is kind of funny in that way, but other community property states might not consider what was yours before the marriage.

If you are not in a community property state, then you might be able to keep most of it. However, you will have to prove that it was yours before going into marriage. It will also depend upon whether your spouse supported you while you were in college, and other factors. In the end, it will all depend upon the judge.

I suggest that you hire a good divorce attorney. Lawsuits are won based on the talent of the lawyer.